There is an overwhelming amount of advice out there about relationships. What to say. What not to say. When to text. When to pull back. How the male brain works. How the female brain works. Entire industries built around strategy, timing, and tactics.

Most of it feels less like wisdom and more like manipulation.

Somewhere along the way, relationships became a game to be played instead of a connection to be stewarded. The goal quietly shifted from loving well to winning. From authenticity to advantage. From truth to technique.

That path leads us away from who we actually are.

We are not problems to be solved or puzzles to be cracked. We are image bearers. Each of us uniquely created by God, wired with different stories, wounds, strengths, and ways of loving. No formula can capture that. No strategy can replace honesty. No tactic can outperform sincerity over time.

The moment you feel like you have to edit yourself, withhold your heart, or pretend to be less invested in order to be chosen, something is already off. Love that requires you to abandon your God given nature is not love worth pursuing.

Authenticity is not weakness. Vulnerability is not desperation. Clarity is not pressure. These are signs of emotional maturity and spiritual grounding. When you show up honestly, you are not trying to control an outcome. You are simply offering yourself as you are and trusting God with the result.

That trust is the hard part.

It requires us to unlearn the world’s obsession with games and relearn how to walk in truth. To stop asking, “What will make them want me?” and start asking, “Am I being who God created me to be?” To love freely without guarantees. To speak plainly without fear. To risk rejection rather than live behind strategy.

Healthy relationships are not built on chess moves. They are built on character. On shared values. On mutual choice. On two people who are willing to be seen, not managed.

We do not need better tactics.

We need renewed minds.

We need the courage to be real.

And the faith to believe that the right person will meet us there.

Stop playing the game.

Start being you.

That is where real connection begins.