A few months ago I was introduced to a new phrase being used in popular culture, largely by Gen Z, but also a few of the younger Millennials. “OK, Boomer” has really picked up steam in our national lexicon, as we add generational differences to the long list of things we have embraced to further divide us.

I didn’t think much of it until I saw a disrespectful, little shit use that phrase in a derogatory response to someone, for which I had great respect. As I ran it over in my mind, that exchange angered me more and more. How could someone so young and naive show such disrespect to someone well respected by so many? As someone who grew up with some of the earliest Baby Boomer parents, I couldn’t imagine myself or anyone speaking to them in that manner.

Now is probably a good time to set some expectations for this post. I am not a fan of sweeping generalizations of any group, including generational groups. So even if I observe some very common characteristics of a specific generational group, please know I am not pointing a finger at everyone in that group. There are always exceptions to the rule. With that disclaimer, let’s make some sweeping generalizations.

Growing up as part of Gen X, I think what angers me so much about the sentiment of Gen Z toward Baby Boomers can be attributed to the differences in how our generations were raised.

I grew up in a generation where when you had a problem with a teacher, they got the benefit of the doubt. If I was upset with my coach for not getting playing time on my basketball team, they got the benefit of the doubt. Why shouldn’t they?  They had a whole classroom or team they were uniquely trained to lead, guide and develop. I was just one kid who most likely had not yet learned, that I was not the center of the universe. I grew up in a generation where there were winners and losers and some of the biggest lessons you could learn in life were through defeat. My generation had the kids table during the holidays. Who remembers that? When you were finally seen as an adult, you got to graduate from the kid’s table and sit with the adults. That was a good day! There was a process for moving from childhood to adulthood. You weren’t entitled to respect just because you were a person. You had to earn respect. Just because you were a person, your opinion just didn’t hold as much value because you still lacked the wisdom of life experience. That point is sure to ruffle the feathers of the well-educated Gen Z’ers, who believe that their knowledge is better than the wisdom that comes from half a century of learning and life experience. However, as someone that has lived 49 years, I know learning is perpetual. I also have a college degree with two lifetimes of learning on the oldest Gen Z’ers, but more importantly, I have gained enough wisdom to know that there is still much I have to learn.  In fact, I am a firm believer that when someone thinks they have it all figured out, that is when they are most lost.

I spoke about my idea for my blog post with my daughter the other night. She is part of Gen Z, but I would consider her the exception to the rule. She expressed the same disdain for the lack of respect many of her generation show to older generations. She will graduate Summa Cum Laude from a prestigious academic college with a BS in Mathematics and Psychology. She is one of the smartest people I know, but even she will tell you that her 22-year-old human brain won’t be fully developed until the age of 25.

At this point, you may be thinking, “This is just some old dude slamming Gen Z’ers for being unwise, self-centered and disrespectful.”

Plot twist…

This is about my Gen X’ers! It’s time for us to fall on our swords. Culpability for most of the teen and adult aged Gen Z’ers falls squarely on us (and maybe some older Millennials). We raised that generation. We have taken helicopter parenting to new heights. We protect our children from failure because we know how much it hurts to fail. We are raising a generation to believe that the world revolves around them and that they are automatically entitled to the same respect others have earned. We give them the benefit of the doubt when they haven’t earned it because we love them. Gen Z ranges in age from 4-24 years old. We have already established that the oldest of that generation is still a year away from having fully developed brains, so we need to shoulder some responsibility for their attitudes and actions.

When I think back to my conversation with my daughter, why is it that she seems to be the exception to the rule? If there is anyone in Gen Z that has the education, background, and accomplishments to come across as a know it all, it would be her. So why isn’t she? Why does she cringe when she sees a peer disrespect one of her professors? I think it can be summed up in a single word – humility. Humility is defined as “a modest or low view of one’s own importance”. On the face of it, what parents teach their kids is oftentimes the exact opposite of that definition. We want our kids to be proud of who they are. No one wants their kids to have a “low view of their own importance”, but I contend, a “modest view” will take them far in life. It’s unfair to teach the virtues of having pride without teaching how to live the attributes and characteristics for which you should be prideful. Proverbs 11:2 illustrates the virtues of humility beautifully: “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”  As much as my daughter has accomplished academically and athletically in her life she has had to overcome failures to reach her goals. With humility, she has gained wisdom and become a better person for it.

I would worry about the eye rolls from Gen Z as they read my post, but let’s be honest, Gen Z’ers aren’t reading my posts. It doesn’t matter because this post is for my fellow Gen X’ers. It’s not too late for us to teach Gen Z the respect that we were taught by the Boomers that raised us and the importance of the humility we have gained through a lifetime of experience.